Are we who we think we are?
Breaking the Chains of the Past: How generational Maladaptive Schemas Shape Our Lives and How to Heal
The Invisible Chains of Generational Trauma
Have you ever noticed you keep repeating the same painful patterns in relationships, career, or self-esteem that you noticed either your parents, siblings or grandparents and other family members repeat? Why you sabotage yourself, feel unworthy, or struggle to trust others? The answer may reside in deep-seated patterns called Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS)—unconscious blueprints formed in childhood and passed down via genetics that shape how we see ourselves and the world.
Schema Therapy, developed by Jeffrey Young, offers a powerful framework for understanding and healing certain aspects of trauma induced belief systems. Schemas act as mental programs running in the background, influencing thoughts, emotions, and behaviours (Young et al., 2003) and are charged with a strong emotional tone that creates a biological response to these systems. If left unchallenged, they govern our relationships, self-worth, and ability to cope with life’s constant issues.
What Are Early Maladaptive Schemas?
Schemas are deeply ingrained beliefs about ourselves and the world, formed in early childhood based on our experiences. When these experiences are painful—such as neglect, criticism, abuse, or excessive control—schemas develop to 'protect' us but often keep us trapped in unhealthy cycles (Arntz & Jacob, 2012).
Think of a schema as a certain cloak or as some North American aboriginals call them “Robes” . If you wear ‘abandonment’ robes, you’ll always fear that people will leave you. If you wear ‘defectiveness’ robes, you’ll constantly feel unworthy of love. These robes shape every aspect of life—until we take them off and see reality for what it truly is.
How Maladaptive Schemas Are Formed
Schemas often arise from unmet core emotional needs in childhood (Young et al., 2003). However, research also indicates that schemas are passed down through generations as inherited psychological patterns, much like genetic predispositions for mental health conditions. Epigenetic studies indicate that trauma and stress can affect telomeres—the protective caps on chromosomes—leading to heightened vulnerability to mental health issues across generations (Meaney, 2018). This means we are not only shaped by our early experiences but are also born with predispositions to certain schemas/robes/ diagnosis, which can be activated through life trauma.
In many Indigenous traditions, particularly among North American cultures, these inherited psychological patterns are often referred to as 'robes'—symbolic burdens passed down from ancestors, containing the unresolved pain, beliefs, and behaviours of previous generations. The concept of 'robes' suggests that we wear the emotional experiences of our lineage, and healing involves recognising, acknowledging, and consciously shedding these inherited patterns. Many Indigenous teachings emphasise that we must engage in ceremony, storytelling, and connection to nature to release these burdens and rewrite our personal and ancestral stories (Deloria, 2006).
The Myth of the Family Curse: The Psychological Legacy of Trauma
Across cultures, intergenerational trauma is often described as a "family curse"—a recurring cycle of suffering that seems impossible to escape. This myth reflects a psychological reality, where trauma, unresolved pain, and maladaptive schemas are unconsciously passed down through generations.
It is well documented that traumatic experiences can alter stress response systems in ways that influence the emotional and psychological development of descendants (Yehuda et al., 2016). Families affected by abandonment, abuse, addiction, or dysfunction often reinforce self-fulfilling patterns, where inherited schemas shape beliefs, behaviours, and relational dynamics (Fonagy et al., 2002). Causing the person to repeat cycles of lives which are not even theirs.
Many Indigenous and cultural traditions acknowledge this phenomenon. Some Native American teachings refer to these patterns as “burdens carried in the blood”, while other traditions describe them as "ancestral wounds"—psychic imprints of past trauma (Kirmayer et al., 2014). Van der Kolk (2014) highlights how trauma is not just an event but a biological and relational legacy, often experienced as fate rather than something that can be changed. However, I have never accepted that we can not shape and choose our fate, I believe we are all in the image of the original creator and if we use discipline and bravery our fortitude can shape and change reality.
Breaking the "family curse" requires awareness, intentional healing, and breaking dysfunctional patterns. This involves recognising inherited schemas, challenging limiting beliefs, and seeking support and guidance on spiritual practices that foster transformation. Interventions like Schema Therapy, EMDR, and ancestral healing work can help individuals disrupt the cycle and create a new narrative for future generations (Schore, 2012).
Some common origins of schemas include:
Neglect or emotional deprivation → Schema: "My needs don’t matter."
Harsh criticism or abuse → Schema: "I am defective or unlovable."
Overcontrol or perfectionism → Schema: "I must be perfect to be accepted."
Instability or abandonment → Schema: "People I love will leave me."
Excessive indulgence without limits → Schema: "I am entitled to do whatever I want."
These patterns start as childhood survival mechanisms but become prison walls in adulthood.
The Five Core Schema Domains
According to Schema Therapy, maladaptive schemas are grouped into five broad domains (Young et al., 2003):
Disconnection & Rejection – Fear of abandonment, mistrust, emotional deprivation.
Impaired Autonomy & Performance – Feeling incapable, dependent, or like a failure.
Impaired Limits – Struggles with self-control or entitlement.
Other-Directedness – Prioritising others over oneself to gain approval.
Overvigilance & Inhibition – Excessive self-criticism, perfectionism, or emotional suppression.
Schemas and Mental Health Diagnoses
"While everyone has some level of maladaptive schemas, when multiple schemas cluster together, they can contribute to more severe mental health diagnoses. Research suggests that certain schema profiles correlate strongly with specific psychiatric conditions (Bach & Bernstein, 2019):
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – Often linked to a combination of the Abandonment, Mistrust/Abuse, Emotional Deprivation, and Defectiveness schemas. This creates a fear of rejection, unstable self-image, and emotional dysregulation seen in BPD (Young et al., 2003).
Psychosis & Schizophrenia – Strongly associated with social isolation schemas (Mistrust, Emotional Deprivation, and Defectiveness), combined with Disconnection & Rejection domains. Childhood trauma plays a significant role in schema activation leading to dissociation, paranoid beliefs, and detachment from reality (Giesen-Bloo et al., 2006).
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – Often driven by Defectiveness and Grandiosity schemas, where underlying feelings of unworthiness are masked by an exaggerated sense of superiority. These individuals often overcompensate to avoid emotional vulnerability (Arntz et al., 2021).
Chronic Depression & Anxiety Disorders – Typically result from persistent Failure, Pessimism, and Emotional Deprivation schemas, reinforcing self-doubt and hopelessness. Individuals with strong Overvigilance & Inhibition schemas may also struggle with perfectionism and excessive self-criticism, contributing to anxiety disorders (Renner et al., 2013).
Understanding these schema clusters provides insight into why certain conditions develop and how Schema Therapy can be tailored to treat them effectively."
How Schemas Affect Daily Life
Schemas manifest in daily life in ways that may seem normal but are actually deep-rooted, repetitive patterns. Consider these examples:
A woman with an Abandonment schema constantly tests her partner’s love, fearing rejection—even when no real threat exists.
A man with a Defectiveness schema avoids intimacy because he believes no one could truly love him if they knew ‘the real him.’
A professional with a Failure schema self-sabotages at work, feeling unworthy of success.
For many individuals, these self-defeating cycles form the basis of more severe mental health challenges. When multiple schemas cluster together, they reinforce pathological thought patterns and emotional dysregulation, contributing to diagnosable mental health conditions:
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Characterised by intense emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, and unstable relationships. Individuals with BPD often have a combination of Abandonment, Mistrust/Abuse, Emotional Deprivation, and Defectiveness schemas, leading to impulsivity, extreme mood swings, and self-destructive behaviours (Young et al., 2003).
Psychosis & Schizophrenia: These conditions are linked to schemas within the Disconnection & Rejection domain, particularly Mistrust/Abuse, Emotional Deprivation, and Social Isolation schemas. Individuals may develop distorted perceptions of reality, paranoia, or dissociation, exacerbated by past relational trauma (Giesen-Bloo et al., 2006).
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Often associated with the Defectiveness and Grandiosity schemas. Underlying feelings of unworthiness are overcompensated by an inflated self-image, difficulty with criticism, and a need for excessive admiration (Arntz et al., 2021).
Chronic Depression & Anxiety Disorders: Persistent feelings of hopelessness, excessive self-criticism, and social withdrawal often stem from Failure, Pessimism, and Emotional Deprivation schemas. Individuals with strong Overvigilance & Inhibition schemas may experience perfectionism and chronic anxiety (Renner et al., 2013).
How Schemas Keep Themselves Alive (And How to Break the Cycle)
Schemas persist because they shape how we interpret and interact with the world from a micro to macro level. We unconsciously distort reality to confirm our deeply held beliefs (Arntz & Jacob, 2012). Three major coping styles maintain schemas:
Surrender: Accepting the schema as truth (e.g., always choosing toxic partners, repeating harmful patterns).
Avoidance: Escaping situations that trigger the schema (e.g., avoiding relationships, isolating, dissociating).
Overcompensation: Acting in extreme opposition (e.g., becoming overly controlling, aggressive, or detached to hide vulnerability).
For individuals with BPD, psychosis, schizophrenia, and NPD, these coping styles manifest in distinct ways. A person with BPD may engage in intense relational push-pull dynamics, someone experiencing psychosis may enter into delusions or paranoia, while an individual with NPD might overcompensate by inflating their self-importance to mask deep-seated shame.
Understanding these schema-driven mental health patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycle and engaging in deep, lasting healing.
Rewriting Your Story: Healing From Maladaptive and generational Schemas
The good news? Schemas / robes and even diagnosis do not have to be permanent. With specialised processing awareness and inner work, we can challenge these deeply held beliefs and rewrite the story of our lives. Healing involves:
Cognitive Awareness: Recognising the schema’s lies.
Self Discipline : managing your own schemas
Emotional Healing: Reconnecting and healing with the inner child.
Behavioural Change: Challenging old patterns through new experiences.
Specialised processing
Processing provides specific techniques which follow the thread of the schema and heals the original entry point. Working with the inner child by applying a form of imagery re-scripting, and cognitive restructuring to help individuals break free from schemas (Young et al., 2003). It also requires a spiritual / energetic approach to release the shadow from different layers of your presence.
Have you recognised any of these schemas in yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments!
If you're ready to dive deeper into healing, consider reaching out for support and or do your own research into this matter. Follow our blog for more insights on breaking free from past wounds.
References
Arntz, A. & Jacob, G. (2012). Schema Therapy in Practice: An Introductory Guide to the Schema Mode Approach. John Wiley & Sons.
Deloria, V. (2006). The World We Used to Live In: Remembering the Powers of the Medicine Men. Fulcrum Publishing.
Meaney, M.J. (2018). Perinatal maternal adversity, epigenetics, and programming of stress responses: Pathways to mental illness. Neuropsychopharmacology, 43(1), pp. 92-102.
Young, J.E., Klosko, J.S. & Weishaar, M.E. (2003). Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide. New York: Guilford Press.